Tuesday, October 18, 2011

Precious or a Pain?

Life has been very busy lately. I mean life is always busy, but more so in the last few weeks.
I am still learning how to be a home schooling mama, how to lesson plan and teach the kids. How to keep them focused and happy throughout our school day. And then of course there is the daily chores to keep up with. Oh, and not to mention my Autumn indoor/outdoor clean-up list that we've barely begun! And now of course it's hockey season. And with 2 of the 3 boys playing this year we are at the rink Tuesdays, Wednesdays, Thursdays, every other Friday, Saturday & Sunday. WHOA! And this doesn't even scratch the surface. There's still appointments, commitments of mine or my husbands, errands to run, ect. There's a lot going on, and I am starting to feel the drain and stress from it all. Me, and so many other parents who have so much on their plate feel the drain and stress from it all. So where does this leave us? For myself it's left me tired, disorganized, and quite frankly - grumpy. This is not how I like to feel, and certainly not how I want my family to see me.

So how do I deal with this type of stress? Not well apparently.

On Friday evening, after a very long day Jaxon had hockey. Mike was still at work which meant it was up to me to get everyone ready and out the door. The kids were tired, I was tired. Tyson didn't even want to leave the house, BUT we have the commitment of hockey and we follow through. Once we're at the arena I feel frustrated. Jaxon only being 5 still needs me to put his equipment on, but Tyson wanted to be held. And Ryan was complaining of being hungry, even though we just ate supper. I can't hold Tyson while I do Jaxon's equipment, so Tyson sat on the bench crying. And Ryan sat there complaining. It's then that I really noticed my tone of voice. It was that "mommy's not in the mood, and you're driving me mental" voice. And it didn't sound nice. It's also then that I noticed my 8 year old using that same tone of voice when addressing his brothers. Eeck, definitely not the way I want to treat my kids. I took a deep breath, reminding myself that a 2 year old has every right to be over tired and want to be held, and 8 year old boys complain of hunger in hopes to get a snack from the concession. That's life. DEEP BREATH! DEEP BREATH! DEEP BREATH!

After a few minutes of Jaxon being on the ice, Mike was able to meet us at the rink, and I took a very tired Tyson home and let Mike finish up with the practice.
Once I was home I could not stop thinking of this tone of voice that I tend to use in frustrating or stressful situations. I felt sick to my stomach thinking about how often that mean mommy voice creeps out. I know I'm not the only parent who does this, I could hear other parents all around me acting in the same manner. In fact, at one point I actually heard 3 moms comparing whose children were worse (in front of said children) . Yes, you read that right. WORSE. Is this how parents behave? Our children have become an obnoxious pain, and not the precious jewels they are intended to be?
I don't have the right to let my frustration or stress rule situations with my children. It doesn't build positive character or confidence in a person to have someone speak with a harsh tone every time they are annoyed. And it doesn't teach my precious little ones how to positively handle their own stresses.
So my goal is to make sure that my own stress and frustration don't change the way I interact with my kids. When things are normal and everyone is in a good mood we all talk nicely and positively towards each other. This doesn't need to change just because I'm tired. I will ask myself "Is this the way I would want to be spoken to?" If my answer is NO, then it's time to take a DEEP BREATH and start again. I want my kids to always know, they are PRECIOUS. And NOT a pain!

Monday, October 3, 2011

Stop. Breathe. Pray.

What a week... And it's only Monday! It's days like today that I think if there were a reset button, I just might push it. Not to reset my life or anything, just the day. Or maybe the week... ;)

Things started getting tough when Saturday through the night I started getting sick. Like stomach flu sick. Yuck! I was up most of the night not feeling well, but was comforted knowing that my hubby would take over the kiddos in the morning while I tried to recoup. (He's awesome like that!) But around 7:00am Sunday (after maybe 2 hours of broken sleep) I heard my little ones wake up. Jaxon came into our room and informed me that Tyson didn't feel good. Uh-oh, this can't be good. Tyson couldn't even make it to my room to tell me himself like he usually would. My first thought was that he had the same stomach flu I was experiencing. But once I saw him I knew it was worse then that. Our poor little Ty was white as a ghost, struggling to breathe normally, and his heart rate was increased past what his "safe range" is, and he couldn't hold up his own head. So, off to the hospital we went. After tests we found out that he has a pretty severe lung infection, which was causing some issues to his heart. And for some reason his body wasn't responding in the typical way a body does when it senses there's an infection. He had no fever so the doctor couldn't figure out why he couldn't stay awake. He didn't even flinch with the many needles he had gotten. Blood results showed his potassium was extremely low, which apparently was the cause of him being lethargic. So after hours, and some treatment we were able to bring him home with the instructions that on top of the IV antibiotics he received at the hospital he would need to take more at home and to please keep him indoors and resting (away from the germs of others) to keep his heart and lungs happy. Okay- no problem! We went home, and cared for our sweet boy and he was improving! I was still exhausted, but I think all us moms find the energy to keep going, even when we're sick!
So needless to say I didn't sleep well last night, it's hard to fall into a nice deep sleep when you know you have a sick kiddo, and I knew I had to check on his breathing through the night so I sort of just tossed and turned. Thankfully Tyson ended up having a good night so YAY!
My plan for today was to do a little bit of school with the kids, but we were all feeling mentally drained so I was keeping everything relaxed and easy. All of a sudden there was loud knocking on the door, as well as the doorbell ringing. Scared the wits out of all of us! Scared me even more when I opened the door to the fire Chief of our town with a mask on yelling for us to evacuate our home immediately due to a dangerous gas leak outside only a few doors down from us. He gave me enough time to get the kids a coat and grab the dog, and get in the van. He told us the complex and the road will be closed until the problem is fixed. The kids were terrified, and I was terrified. In the rush of having to leave so quick I didn't have any Tyson's meds, and with the cool Fall air and no inhalers I was worried. The police blocking the road told me there was no estimated time to how long it would take to gain control of the problem, but that our entire neighborhood was evacuated and to make arrangements of where to go in case we were not able to get back in for the day and/or night. So, there I sat in our van at a nearby lake. Kids terrified, and me a bunch of nerves. I don't have a ton of friends in our town yet, and it just so happens that one of them had the flu in their house, and another has a new baby. Either way I couldn't walk into either with a sick kid, not only would we not want to pass our germs, we can't risk Ty picking up more. Hubby works in the city, about an hour commute but I was worried about going there too for the same reasons. So I sat there in the van and just prayed that the leak wasn't so severe that they couldn't get it sorted out. And you know what? It all worked out. We were able to get back into our house less then 2 hours later, and just in time because Tyson was really needing his meds by then. Our gas still hasn't been turned back on yet but that's OK we're back in our home where we have everything we need.

what a crazy few days! Here's hoping that little man gets better, and that mama can catch up on some rest.

Smiles & Blessings,