Finding MY sweet spot!

So... I have a birthday approaching near the end of this month. The 26th to be exact. My own birthday isn't really a big deal to me, I just like to be able to be with my family. Nothing fancy. I don't normally put a ton of thought into the day. But this year, as the day approaches where I turn 31 (AHHH!!!) I can't stop thinking about what I have (or have not) accomplished. Becoming a young wife and mother of 3 are huge accomplishments that I'm proud of. We began homeschooling our kids in the Fall which, although not even close to accomplished I'm proud that we made the choice and began the journey. But I feel like I'm being called by God to do more... I just don't know what? I'm content and very happy with my life, but I have this pull. This feeling that theres something more that I'm supposed to do. But what?

I began reading a book called "Cure for the Common Life - Living in your sweet spot" by Max Lucado. It talks about how God gave each and every one of us a unique talent or skill. On page 1 of the book Max says

"He tailored the curves of your life to fit an empty space in his jigsaw puzzle. And life makes sweet sense when you find your spot."

So how do I find my sweet spot? The book does go on to help you figure out how to accomplish this with different sections to help you break it all down. It was very thought provoking for me, and (in my opinion) was a great book, worth the read!

So now I'm trying to sift through everything in me, to learn what unique talents and skills God gave me. It's a lot harder then I thought to separate myself from all the talents and skills that I would love to posses, and what God has actually given me. In the (resent) past I would look at family or friends that have talents or skills that I admire, and I would try those same things only to find I just didn't have what they had. I would wonder how they could make it look so effortless, but I was struggling to so the same thing? Those were talents that God gave them, not me. So as much as I may love or appreciate the work or project they can do, it was never meant for ME to do it! Hmmm... Interesting... Sometimes it's hard for me to remember that I am loved enough by an all powerful Father, that he took the time to knit in me all these special, and unique things that only I could have. That not one other person on this planet was given the exact same gifts, in the exact same way. God has something special for me, and all of you!

So, I am going to try and uncover what God has blessed me with, and use it to bring all the glory back to Him! All while living in my "sweet spot"!

Each of you should use whatever gift you have received to serve others, as faithful stewards of God's grace in it's various forms ~1 Peter 4:10

By His Grace alone,

Corrine


I'm linked up at Raising Mighty Arrows! Join in!

Just felt like sharing...

Oh I LOVE these boys! I get to wake up to these sweet faces every day! I feel so blessed!

A house full of boys, and I wouldn't have it any other way! Thanks for stopping by, and letting me share these pictures with you! :)

A Spirit full of Sunshine!

This is how I feel right now. A spirt full of God's love, feeling like warm sunshine bursting through me! It honestly doesn't matter how my body is feeling today (which for the record is quite bad).

In my last post, I wrote about some health struggles I've been experiencing, and how the symptoms lead me down a road of hopelessness, pity, and pain both physically and spiritually. It was a hard place to be, but with the help of my loving husband, and an Almighty God I was able to get out of such a bad place.

Going through all of this was so unwanted at the time, but God has a plan. I didn't think that anything positive could come out of what I was going through, but God has a plan! And guess what? I've even learned a few things!

The first thing I learned was who my real friends are. This was a hard lesson to learn in the beginning, because I was a little surprised at the outcome. But now I know. And it's quite refreshing!

The second thing I've learned is that I have very unreasonable expectations for myself. It is completely unreasonable to live the same life and schedule I was living before becoming sick. I'm such a control freak that I didn't want to change the way I cared for my home, the way I was homeschooling, or the time I went to bed. It all needed changing, but I went down with a fight. A fight that didn't need to be had, if only I could have recognized that I do NOT need to be the one in control.

And the third, and most important lesson I've learned is that God can't help me if I don't let Him. I felt like I trusted Him, but yet I continually fought every change in my life that was happening. Instead of leaning on the Lord to get me through, I was always looking to myself and my husband to get me through. Instead of reading scripture and spending more time in prayer, I was feeling sorry for myself. It wasn't until I truly and fully surrendered myself to God that I began to see the difference.

Like I said in my last post, I am still going through these medical problems, and dealing with the day to day of the symptoms. But I'm seeing it all with new eyes. Clear vision. God has a plan and THIS was all apart of it. Who am I to turn my nose up at a struggle that God is sure I can handle? Who am I to decide that because I'm going through a struggle it must mean something bad? God's gifts come in many different packages. And now that I'm seeing everything through new eyes, I'm seeing the gifts that are coming from the struggle. Like my husband praying for me. That is the sweetest gift of all, and God knew exactly the type of impact that would have on me!

So here I sit. Ready to take on anything the Lord has in store. Even the struggles. If I'm struggling, then God must be working on me. Clearly only He knows what I need. And I am praising Him all the more for knowing that I needed the struggle. Praising Him for knowing my heart! Praising Him for showing me that His amazing gifts come in many different packages.

By His Grace alone,
Corrine


I'm linked up over at

I'm not lost.... anymore

Well, it's been a very long time since I last wrote a blog. Too long I'm sure, because I've probably lost the few followers I had! ;) But, here I am!

It's been a rough couple of months. I wanted to write so many times, but I just didn't know what to write, and didn't know what to share. Or what not to share. So, I didn't write. Looking back, this was probably a very good thing. I was in a dark place for a little while, and I don't think I had anything worth sharing.

I've been sick for a while now. I've suffered with chronic pain for a few years, but starting back in November the pain began to intensify. By December the pain was accompanied by a slew of other symptoms, and by Christmas I felt like I could no longer function. My world seemed to come to a complete halt, and to say I handled it well would be a gross overstatement. I did not handle it well.

You see, I'm a bit of a control freak, and patience is NOT my forte. I'm a 'RIGHT NOW' kinda gal, so when I began seeing the doctor and wasn't getting any answers as to what was happening in my body I just couldn't take it.

My symptoms were worsening all the time. And to feel like I had no control over my own body was terrifying to say the least. The pain and fatigue took over, and it wasn't a pretty sight.

Being a homemaker, wife, and mother is a tough job on the best of days. But with my "new" body it was more then tough. It felt impossible to do any of my jobs, and doing them well was, well it wasn't happening.

I truly began to loose who I am. I was in such a deep pit. And although I wanted desperately to pull myself out, I couldn't. I would wake up in the morning and tell myself that it was going to be a good day, and I would pray for God's strength to help me through. But come 11:00am my body would start to deteriorate. My pain would become unmanageable, the tremors that plague me would start to roll through my body, my speech would become a bit of a slur, and the headaches and eye pain would set in. How can I manage my home, take care of my 3 beautiful boys, and homeschool like this? By 2:00pm I would have all the kids in my room with me, school work in tow, or a movie so that I could be in bed in attempt to rest my body. By 6:00pm I could no longer function, the house and the kids were turned over to hubby, and I settled in knowing I was going to have at least 2-3 hours of muscle spasms before I would fall asleep. Of course only to be woken through the night in pain. And then it was time to get out of bed and start all over again in the morning. Too much, right? Well it was too much for me, thus the big, dark pit I was living in.

It's not easy to loose control, especially over your body. I couldn't do anything the way I used to. No more driving, no more taking the kids out of the house for a walk or play date, and no more enjoying life because it felt like the life was sucked out of me.

And then one day, I hit rock bottom. I could not take another second of this. Too many symptoms, too many appointments, and too little answers. I phoned hubby at work and broke down. I told him I couldn't go on, couldn't have all of this going on, and still be a wife and mother. I felt like I couldn't take care of myself, let alone our sweet, precious children. Hubby didn't know what to say. He didn't know how to help. He was already picking up the slack at home when he was here, and already missing so much work to help with appointments, he was at a loss of what to do or say. I could tell he was just as frustrated and sad as I was. Watching his wife suffer through illness was hard enough, watching me loose my mind was beyond what he knew how to handle.
Shortly after getting off the phone with him I heard my cell phone beep with a text message. It was my husband. My un-Saved hubby. The message said "I will pray for you". That message hit me like a ton of bricks. My un-saved hubby, who doesn't pray wants to pray for me. There was so much impact to those words - "I will pray for you" coming from him, that I just fell to my knees. God is SO good, and so much bigger then us all, and for some reason I forgot this. I mean, I knew these things, but while being in my dark pit I forgot to practice those things. Sure I was praying everyday, but I wasn't surrendering myself completely over to God. I was trying to control it all. And, as we all know life just doesn't work that way. I'm not in control. I've never been in control. There is only One who is in perfect control of all things.

So, my husband began to pray for me. And through him I saw that it was time to give myself back over to the Lord, the only one who could take me out of my dark pit. Back to His embrace, instead of the enemy's. I didn't even know I had fallen from my place with Him, thats how tricky this dark pit is.

My health problems haven't gone away. I'm still coping day by day. But I'm on the right track with specialists now, who have narrowed it down to a few conditions, and after some tests I have coming up I should have a diagnosis.

But in the meantime, things are easier. No, I'm still not back to my healthy self, and yes everyday is still a challenge. But the difference is now I have the power of a praying husband! And honestly I would go through every horrible, painful day all over again if it meant that it was bringing my husband one step closer to the Lord. Our Lord is all mighty, all powerful, holy holy holy! And prayer is so powerful, there is no denying that since hubby began to pray that I have improved. And it feels SOOO good to be back in the arms of my Father, I don't have to go through this alone. Thank you, Jesus!

So... I'm back! And spiritually feeling better then I have in a long time!

Does anyone relate? If any of you are suffering from a health condition and have any advice on how to successfully homeschool on the bad days, or tips on home management when the bad days hit leave me a comment! I could use all the advice I can get!

By His grace alone,

Corrine


I've linked up at

How is your marriage?

How is your marriage?

I feel like I have a wonderful marriage. Perfect? Goodness NO! Yet, it’s still wonderful.
Just this morning I read a great post at The Better Mom about feeling like the grass is greener on the other side of other marriages. and I wonder how often people compare their own marriages to others?

I’m ashamed to admit that I have. But not because I think that THEIR grass is greener, but I felt like OUR grass was greener...

Okay, I know that it’s not right to compare our marriage to others, and it’s especially not right to think that my marriage is better then everyone’s around me but in the last 3 years I have seen too many marriages around me end, or if they are together still they are hanging by a sliver and I don’t know how to help. We have lived in our house for 3 years now, and have seen 3 marriages end. That seems crazy to me! And the few just barely holding on scare me, I don’t want to see any more marriages end. Especially those close to us.

But here’s the thing. My husband and I aren’t in a great marriage by accident. It didn’t just happen over night, and it isn’t always easy. We work very hard at having what we have. We water our “grass”. Actually we water, fertilize, mow, and pull weeds. Even when stubborn me would rather not. Do we still have fights? Yes. The work on our marriage is far from over. Actually, it will NEVER end. Just like you have to do your laundry or wash your dishes everyday or the tasks become out of control, you have to work on your marriage everyday so it doesn’t become out of control.

Marriage is no easy task. And even when we care for our marriage it won’t always be great. Life happens, and when the tough stuff comes up you might have to re-evaluate your approach on HOW you care for your marriage. We are always growing. So are our marriages, so we need to assume that the way we care for our marriage needs to grow and adapt too. What works today might not work tomorrow. Continue to evaluate the needs of your spouse and marriage. And talk to your spouse about how they feel about how your marriage is. Make sure you’re both on the same page. Communication is huge!
Courtney from Women Living well has a “10 days to a Godly Marriage” series starting, along with other posts and vlogs on marriage. And Darlene over at Time Warp Wife has a “31 days of love” challenge, posts from both her and contributing bloggers. I have found wonderful, encouraging advice from both!

Take the time to nurture and care for your marriage. Take the time to soak in the importance of keeping that relationship strong. Think of the vows you have taken. Husband & Wife. It’s a beautiful relationship, don’t ever forget that.

I don’t want to be the only house with “green grass”. :)

Have any advice on keeping your marriage strong, share in the comments!

Smiles, Blessing, and HAPPY MARRIAGES :)

Precious or a Pain?

Life has been very busy lately. I mean life is always busy, but more so in the last few weeks.
I am still learning how to be a home schooling mama, how to lesson plan and teach the kids. How to keep them focused and happy throughout our school day. And then of course there is the daily chores to keep up with. Oh, and not to mention my Autumn indoor/outdoor clean-up list that we've barely begun! And now of course it's hockey season. And with 2 of the 3 boys playing this year we are at the rink Tuesdays, Wednesdays, Thursdays, every other Friday, Saturday & Sunday. WHOA! And this doesn't even scratch the surface. There's still appointments, commitments of mine or my husbands, errands to run, ect. There's a lot going on, and I am starting to feel the drain and stress from it all. Me, and so many other parents who have so much on their plate feel the drain and stress from it all. So where does this leave us? For myself it's left me tired, disorganized, and quite frankly - grumpy. This is not how I like to feel, and certainly not how I want my family to see me.

So how do I deal with this type of stress? Not well apparently.

On Friday evening, after a very long day Jaxon had hockey. Mike was still at work which meant it was up to me to get everyone ready and out the door. The kids were tired, I was tired. Tyson didn't even want to leave the house, BUT we have the commitment of hockey and we follow through. Once we're at the arena I feel frustrated. Jaxon only being 5 still needs me to put his equipment on, but Tyson wanted to be held. And Ryan was complaining of being hungry, even though we just ate supper. I can't hold Tyson while I do Jaxon's equipment, so Tyson sat on the bench crying. And Ryan sat there complaining. It's then that I really noticed my tone of voice. It was that "mommy's not in the mood, and you're driving me mental" voice. And it didn't sound nice. It's also then that I noticed my 8 year old using that same tone of voice when addressing his brothers. Eeck, definitely not the way I want to treat my kids. I took a deep breath, reminding myself that a 2 year old has every right to be over tired and want to be held, and 8 year old boys complain of hunger in hopes to get a snack from the concession. That's life. DEEP BREATH! DEEP BREATH! DEEP BREATH!

After a few minutes of Jaxon being on the ice, Mike was able to meet us at the rink, and I took a very tired Tyson home and let Mike finish up with the practice.
Once I was home I could not stop thinking of this tone of voice that I tend to use in frustrating or stressful situations. I felt sick to my stomach thinking about how often that mean mommy voice creeps out. I know I'm not the only parent who does this, I could hear other parents all around me acting in the same manner. In fact, at one point I actually heard 3 moms comparing whose children were worse (in front of said children) . Yes, you read that right. WORSE. Is this how parents behave? Our children have become an obnoxious pain, and not the precious jewels they are intended to be?
I don't have the right to let my frustration or stress rule situations with my children. It doesn't build positive character or confidence in a person to have someone speak with a harsh tone every time they are annoyed. And it doesn't teach my precious little ones how to positively handle their own stresses.
So my goal is to make sure that my own stress and frustration don't change the way I interact with my kids. When things are normal and everyone is in a good mood we all talk nicely and positively towards each other. This doesn't need to change just because I'm tired. I will ask myself "Is this the way I would want to be spoken to?" If my answer is NO, then it's time to take a DEEP BREATH and start again. I want my kids to always know, they are PRECIOUS. And NOT a pain!

Stop. Breathe. Pray.

What a week... And it's only Monday! It's days like today that I think if there were a reset button, I just might push it. Not to reset my life or anything, just the day. Or maybe the week... ;)

Things started getting tough when Saturday through the night I started getting sick. Like stomach flu sick. Yuck! I was up most of the night not feeling well, but was comforted knowing that my hubby would take over the kiddos in the morning while I tried to recoup. (He's awesome like that!) But around 7:00am Sunday (after maybe 2 hours of broken sleep) I heard my little ones wake up. Jaxon came into our room and informed me that Tyson didn't feel good. Uh-oh, this can't be good. Tyson couldn't even make it to my room to tell me himself like he usually would. My first thought was that he had the same stomach flu I was experiencing. But once I saw him I knew it was worse then that. Our poor little Ty was white as a ghost, struggling to breathe normally, and his heart rate was increased past what his "safe range" is, and he couldn't hold up his own head. So, off to the hospital we went. After tests we found out that he has a pretty severe lung infection, which was causing some issues to his heart. And for some reason his body wasn't responding in the typical way a body does when it senses there's an infection. He had no fever so the doctor couldn't figure out why he couldn't stay awake. He didn't even flinch with the many needles he had gotten. Blood results showed his potassium was extremely low, which apparently was the cause of him being lethargic. So after hours, and some treatment we were able to bring him home with the instructions that on top of the IV antibiotics he received at the hospital he would need to take more at home and to please keep him indoors and resting (away from the germs of others) to keep his heart and lungs happy. Okay- no problem! We went home, and cared for our sweet boy and he was improving! I was still exhausted, but I think all us moms find the energy to keep going, even when we're sick!
So needless to say I didn't sleep well last night, it's hard to fall into a nice deep sleep when you know you have a sick kiddo, and I knew I had to check on his breathing through the night so I sort of just tossed and turned. Thankfully Tyson ended up having a good night so YAY!
My plan for today was to do a little bit of school with the kids, but we were all feeling mentally drained so I was keeping everything relaxed and easy. All of a sudden there was loud knocking on the door, as well as the doorbell ringing. Scared the wits out of all of us! Scared me even more when I opened the door to the fire Chief of our town with a mask on yelling for us to evacuate our home immediately due to a dangerous gas leak outside only a few doors down from us. He gave me enough time to get the kids a coat and grab the dog, and get in the van. He told us the complex and the road will be closed until the problem is fixed. The kids were terrified, and I was terrified. In the rush of having to leave so quick I didn't have any Tyson's meds, and with the cool Fall air and no inhalers I was worried. The police blocking the road told me there was no estimated time to how long it would take to gain control of the problem, but that our entire neighborhood was evacuated and to make arrangements of where to go in case we were not able to get back in for the day and/or night. So, there I sat in our van at a nearby lake. Kids terrified, and me a bunch of nerves. I don't have a ton of friends in our town yet, and it just so happens that one of them had the flu in their house, and another has a new baby. Either way I couldn't walk into either with a sick kid, not only would we not want to pass our germs, we can't risk Ty picking up more. Hubby works in the city, about an hour commute but I was worried about going there too for the same reasons. So I sat there in the van and just prayed that the leak wasn't so severe that they couldn't get it sorted out. And you know what? It all worked out. We were able to get back into our house less then 2 hours later, and just in time because Tyson was really needing his meds by then. Our gas still hasn't been turned back on yet but that's OK we're back in our home where we have everything we need.

what a crazy few days! Here's hoping that little man gets better, and that mama can catch up on some rest.

Smiles & Blessings,

Corrine